As we start what is traditionally the hardest month of the year for many people, I thought we’d take a few weeks to look at doubt. Much as been written on the subject and since this decade as been full of trials and tribulations, why don’t we take a closer look at what God maybe trying to say to us in the storm.
Firstly, let not forget 2020. COVID, George Floyd ignited Black Lives Matter protests worldwide and the US Election led to such outrage that the US Capitol was raided, leaving five Americans dead and several more injured.
Here we are two years later, and the world is still reeling. Trump might make a comeback, hospitals are literally the worst they’ve ever been, we’ve had three primeministers in a year, Ukraine is in tatters and inflation is very, very high.
Your Suffering should lead to Questioning
My immediate response is ‘Why God!? You are the Almighty, who created the universe. Surely stopping this suffering is a small thing for you?’ I start to doubt his goodness, his power or even if he exists at all.
Enter Habbakuk. This prophet from ancient Judah (modern day Israel) saw his country in disarray as the invading Babylonians moved in, and was just as distraught:
“How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?”
Habbakuk 1:2
You have permission to question your faith. To question whether God is good and have doubts. After all, as time marches on, the more suffering we will see. Where is God in the pressing, the pressure and the pain?
Your Questions May Lead you to Doubt
Deconstruction is an immensely popular word at the moment, and whilst many people get nervous about the idea that Christians are questioning the faith at best and leaving the faith at worst, there is a silver lining to this cloud – questioning is biblical.
We’ve been told God is good, all the time. What does that mean? All your promises are ‘Yes and Amen’. Really? Why is there so much blood, tears and toil in the pages of scripture? As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs for you (Ps 42:1) is not cute, but excruciating. Are you good? Are you God?
But, Your doubt May Lead you to Depth
But then I remember…we should not have breath; our sin against God earned us hell, yet he has given us grace. And so, like Job, I relinquish my right to know why and have faith. Though it looks like God is weak, absent or evil, I resolve to doubt my doubts.
“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted…Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know…I had heard of you by the hearing of my ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore, I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
Job 42:1 – 6
It sounds trite, like a throwaway statement or small plaster to put on the cancer of my doubts, but it’s not. I resolve, like many other believers, to hold the tension of knowing God is good, and not seeing it entirely.
Yes, there’s anguish.
Yes, there’s trouble.
But I cannot help but marvel at a God who would throw himself into the mire of this world, be treated like filth and discarded, all for my sake.
The Bible is full of Doubters, so You’re in Good Company
So, what happened to Habbakuk? Even when God told Habakkuk what he was up to, he took more convincing until he realised, as we all should realise, that God is both in control and good to those who love Him. He is our sovereign. Once we understand these two principles, it doesn’t matter whether we are locked down, unjustly murdered or contract the virus – he is still good and he is still God.
Therefore, we must learn to be honest about our doubt, but also be honest about our faith. To act as if this Christian life is easy, carefree and without struggle is self-deception. However, when we look at the empty tomb, all the sudden, my doubts are shadowed by love.
Therefore, we must learn to be honest about our doubt, but also be honest about our faith.
Question, Doubt and Go Deeper
Therefore, I hope this little article has given you permission to question your faith. Here’s something to help you go a little deeper:
- Look inside Yourself: What’s bothering your soul? Where are you worried, scared or angry? Bring these things to God. This, by definition, is prayer.
- Find Fellow Doubters: Thomas, Job, Habbakuk, David (Ps 42, 131) and Jesus (Luke 22:42) all had moments of crisis. Read about their struggles; let their weakness empathise with your weakness.
- Be More Honest with Others: who knows about your doubts? Who do you talk to when it your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling? Jude commands us to ‘have mercy on those who doubt’ (v22), and so let us be people that actually do that.
If you liked this, You May Like
Slow Theology – a fantastic podcast from Nijay Gupta and AJ Swoboda. Formerly known as the ‘In Faith and Doubt Podcast’, they look at the intersection of faith and doubt in the most stressful of times. Sharing personal stories about their kid’s serious illnesses, difficult times in their ministries and ongoing issues with theology, faith, community and relationships.
The Holy Post – Another great podcast by Phil Vischer and Skye Jethani, this a more American and politcally minded journey into American Evangelicalism and unbundling it’s very helpful attachment to Republican politics, capitalism and racism. A fine attempt and trying to get rid of the bathwater.
Nomad Podcast – Hosted by Tim Nash, this is a very long running British conversation about what to do when worship music is triggering, much of church is shallow and one finds themselves questioning everything they were brought up with: Jesus, the Bible, the point of church, sex, identity, gender roles. Very much for those that are looking for depth outside the orthodox Christian tradition, this is the podcast that makes it very okay to question everything.
