You Have A Story to Tell, and Others Need to Hear It

To fight the epidemic of loneliness, we need to realise that the goal is to find a group of friends who know you deeply, and vice-versa.

Has anyone seen the real you?

You are an iceberg. We’re all icebergs. The stuff we see, is the stuff you put on show. Your smile, your clothes, your social media profile. Selected and curated for the community to see. There may be moments of vulnerability, but all of us have a veneer. Underneath the smile, the outfit and the profile lies our true self – warts and all.

The person that works too hard and can’t stop drinking.

The person that struggles with debt and can’t keep their anger in check.

The one who keeps trying to ‘do better’, but they just can’t.

This person, is all of us. And that was just a little glimpse beneath the surface of the water. A glimpse at the real you; the real iceberg. The question is: has anyone else peered beneath the surface? Has anyone else seen the real you?

You Have a Story to Tell

This was, and still is, one of the hardest aspects of the Christian faith – authentic community. In this modern, ultra-connected world, we can easily find community: social media, sports teams, hobbies, hangouts, quidditch appreciation societies and the list goes on. However, what is in short supply is authentic community. People who know the real you.

You have a story to tell, and others need to hear it.

There are 59 “one another” statements in the New Testament. That’s right, 59. That’s just under 60 exhortations in scripture to actually “do” something towards another person.

andrew mason, smallgroupchurches.com

The hard thing about walking in the light is that Jesus doesn’t just clean you up and then your problems automatically cease. The problem is that walking in the light exposes you – both the beauty and the beast within. Therefore, if you’re going to follow Jesus successfully, you’re going to need help. People who know the real you. They need to both call you on your mess and push you to greatness.

The Problem of Loneliness

In total , 45% of adults feel occasionally, sometimes or often lonely in England. This equates to twenty five million people.

campaign to end loneliness uk

Yup. Nearly half of all adults in the UK struggle with loneliness. For most of those people, those waves will crash against the sands of our souls and wash back into the sea. However, for others of us, especially men, that loneliness will morph into depression, and eventually could end in suicide. The science is plain to see, loneliness is more dangerous for you than smoking.

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Jesus’ Circles of Friends

Theologians group Jesus’ disciples in terms of proximity: the thousands, the seventy-two, the twelve and the three. The thousands heard his teaching, the seventy-two received training and the twelve ate, slept and helped Jesus.

However, Jesus had an even smaller group of closest friends. Peter, James and John witnessed his transfiguration, the temptation at the garden of Gethsemane and he even introduced them to Moses and Elijah!

The Goal to Fighting Loneliness

Jesus was the most fulfilled being who ever lived, and yet he was single. Paul was the most effective missionary in the history of the church and, again, he was single. Surely their lives and their legacies are enough to convince a marriage-idolising Western church that true intimacy is not found exclusively in marriage, but is essential to deep relationships.

Therefore, the goal is to find a group of friends who know you deeply, and vice-versa. People with whom you can be vulnerable, sharing your ups, downs, sins, dreams, failures and aspirations.

People that challenge you, but make you feel safe.

People that you can veg out with, as well as shoot for the stars.

Find your team. Find your squad. Without it, you are missing out on the genuine pleasures of life that God called us all to.

If you liked this:

The Being Known Podcast – by Dr Curt Thompson, neuropsychologist, this is a fantastic podcast about creating relationships that allow us to be authentic and share our stories.

God is Looking For You – this free book by myself outlines how God is pursuing you to create a world of relationship with the divine and with each other.